‘Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.’
Airplane One Liners
“Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. In the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments.”
Do pilots take crash-courses?
Pilot: “Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane.
“As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children.
From the pilot during his welcome message: “We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately none of them are on this flight.”
Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.
Thank you for flying West Jet Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.
If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
‘When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.’
‘If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter — and therefore, unsafe.’
There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.
‘If you hear me yell;”Eject, Eject, Eject!”, the last two will be echos.’
“Please dont hang any body parts outside of the aircraft”
You know it’s a no frills airline when the Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.