Category Archives: American One Liners

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

America – a country that has leapt from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization.

You can travel fifty thousand miles in America without once tasting a piece of good bread.

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everyone and still nobody likes him.

Drugs have taught an entire generation of Americans the metric system.

Only in America can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box whilst a draft dodger lives in the White House.

In America you can always find a party; in Russia the party always finds you.

We will invest in our people, quality education, job opportunity, family, neighborhood, and yes, a thing we call America.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States; ask any Indian.

In America, you watch Big Brother ; in Soviet Russia, Big Brother watches you!

In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of anything.

In America you can always find a party; in Russia the party always finds you.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

I believe that Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was… an Arctic region covered with ice.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country, but if you ask a native American, that number is more like 300 million.

In America any boy may become President and I suppose it’s just one of the risks he takes.