Birthday One Liners

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Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!

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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing “Happy Birthday”.

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Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake. “Next time, take off the candles.”

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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

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Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer? Because you said it was pound cake!

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Why did the fat monster put a candle on his tummy? He was celebrating his girthday!

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For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.

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The only assured gift that every one of us gets on our birthday is another year.

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Hallmark Card: “Happy Birthday! You look great for your age….Almost Lifelike!”

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The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

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How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?

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Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of ‘you’ to the world.

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A cute fiftieth birthday wish: Happy 20th anniversary of your 30th Birthday.

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Hallmark Card: “Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!” (available only in Arkansas).