Children One Liners

+4

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

+2

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

+2

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: “take two aspirin” and “keep away from children”!!!!!

+1

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.

+1

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners

+1

Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now I have six children and no theories.

+1

The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common “enemy”.

+1

Women should not have children after 35. Really… 35 children are enough.

+1

If you have trouble getting your children’s attention, just sit down and look comfortable.

0

The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

0

Did you hear about the wife who shot her husband with a bow and arrow because she didn’t want to wake the children.

0

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of their tires.

0

Everywhere children are schooled to become masters at answering questions and to remain novices at asking them.

0

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents,… and the second half by our children.

0

Don’t teach your children the value of a dollar if they find out , they’ll ask for two.