If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
Children One Liners
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: “take two aspirin” and “keep away from children”!!!!!
You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners
Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now I have six children and no theories.
The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common “enemy”.
Women should not have children after 35. Really… 35 children are enough.
If you have trouble getting your children’s attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
Did you hear about the wife who shot her husband with a bow and arrow because she didn’t want to wake the children.
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of their tires.
Everywhere children are schooled to become masters at answering questions and to remain novices at asking them.
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents,… and the second half by our children.
Don’t teach your children the value of a dollar if they find out , they’ll ask for two.