Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money
Christmas One Liners
Can I have your picture, so Santa Claus knows exactly what to give me.
For Christmas I want Santa’s list of naughty girls.
One of the nice things about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with a present.
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Finland. Now Santa Claus is missing.
I still have my Christmas tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn’t see any forests.
When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!
Whats the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at 3 ho’s!
Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet.
I got cold hard cash for Christmas. Five bucks frozen in a block of ice.
If Ifs and Buts were candies and nuts, we’d all have a merry Christmas.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
A woman voting for divorce is like a turkey voting for Christmas.
Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for that hard-to-find person.
Selfishness makes Christmas a burden, love makes it a delight.