Computer One Liners

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A Windows user spends 1/3 of his life sleeping, 1/3 working, 1/3 waiting.

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Computers: Working daily to make the human brain obsolete.

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If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.

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A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila”

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The great thing about Object Oriented code is that it can make small, simple problems look like large, complex ones.

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Real men don’t use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies.

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If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

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Every program has two purposes — one for which it was written and another for which it wasn’t.

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A computer is almost human – except that it does not blame its mistakes on another computer.

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Computers will never replace books. You can’t stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.

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Real programmers don’t document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

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Programmer – A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects.

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Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software is Only for Fools and Teenagers.

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Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there’s Google.

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Disclaimer: Any errors in spelling, tact, or fact are transmission errors.