Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet.
Diet One Liners
Dieting is wishful shrinking.
Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out,but I can usually sedate her with four or five cupcakes.
The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you’re off of it.
The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.
Only eat things that have been broken into pieces; that way, all the calories fall out.
Cookie pieces contain no fat — the process of breaking causes fat leakage.
I’m an expert at multitasking. I can cheat on six diets at the same time!
Why do people order a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a diet soda?
Equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is a balanced diet.
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight.
If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
My wife is on a well-known diet plan… so far she’s lost $300.
A seafood diet is the best: whenever you see food, eat it.