Graduation One Liners

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There are two kinds of commencement speeches: the good ones, and the one at your graduation.

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Some college students graduate with honors. But a lot more graduate with debts.

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Remember, if you don’t want your pimples to show in your graduation picture, do like I did–wear a ski mask.

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Requiring graduates to wear a gown is the administration’s last chance to make students look stupid.

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Some colleges hold graduation too early. Heck, some graduates weren’t even back from spring break.

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I’d advise you graduates to keep your graduation gown. It’s the only outfit you might not outgrow.

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Graduation is the last time you’ll see your teachers’ smiling faces. That’s why they’re smiling.

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Just think, graduation is the last time school officials will be able to tell you what to wear.

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Graduation is a real accomplishment. It means the teachers were finally able to get rid of you.

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Everyone could tell our son was a (Tigers) fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.

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When you graduate from correspondence school, do you wear a cap and gown to the post office?

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Our principal was an animal lover. So instead of sheepskin, our diplomas were polyester.

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A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.