School One Liners

+1

All work and no play is the average school day.

0

Pencils and pens are now illegal on school campus; this was made law after a student successfully proved that a sharpened pencil was, in fact, a weapon.

0

Fifth graders in Texas are using worms to recycle garbage from school lunches. But even the worms won’t eat the Salisbury steak.

0

On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. There I was… surrounded by trees and bushes.

0

In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn’t have any, they gave you some.

0

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence.

0

School is just an elaborate plot by vampires to obtain the blood of teenagers through periodic blood-drives.

0

Our school is very low-budgeted; our physics book is so out of date the last chapter deals with combustion.

0

The school board decided to remove speech and debate from the course schedule; there was no argument.

0

Every teenager should get a high school education … even if they already know everything.

0

A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school clothes.

0

The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

0

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disabled teachers.

0

I remember when I was in school, my class teacher once said “Both of you two get out!

0

The school should pay me to skip class. Call it a “tuition refund” if you will.