It is impossible to come back from one’s journey; there’s always someone else coming back.

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.

Like all great travelers, I have seen more than I remember; and I remember more than I have seen.

It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.

There is no legitimate reason for a travel agent to need to know if you have experience in jungle warfare.

If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, why do they keep abducting the dumbest people on Earth?

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?

One night a jet flew a little bit too close to my house. I was walking from the living room to the kitchen, and the stewardess told me to sit… Read more »