I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.

Birthdays are good for you – the more you have the longer you live.

Were any famous men born on your birthday? “No, only little babies.”

What did one candle say to the other? “Don’t birthdays burn you up?”

Hallmark Card: “Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!” (available only in Arkansas).

A cute fiftieth birthday wish: Happy 20th anniversary of your 30th Birthday.

Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of ‘you’ to the world.

How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Hallmark Card: “Happy Birthday! You look great for your age….Almost Lifelike!”

The only assured gift that every one of us gets on our birthday is another year.

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.

Why did the fat monster put a candle on his tummy? He was celebrating his girthday!

Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer? Because you said it was pound cake!

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake. “Next time, take off the candles.”

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing “Happy Birthday”.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!