Jewelry takes people’s minds off your wrinkles.

Eighty is a wonderful age… especially if you’re ninety.

I’d like to grow very old as slowly as possible.

As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.

Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn’t have anything to do with it.

At my age, an affair of the heart is a bypass.

Well Kerry, you’re 19 and you’re a lot older than a lot of people younger than yourself.

Old people love to give good advice; it compensates them for their inability to set a bad example.

People who say you’re just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.

Middle Age: That time of life when you’d rather not have a good time than recover from it.

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.

Everybody wants to live forever, but nobody wants to grow old.

If youth but had the knowledge and old age the strength.

I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.

Boys are beyond the range of anybody’s sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.

I’m like old wine; they don’t bring me out very often, but I’m well preserved.